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Written By: Paul Carrick Brunson
Old School Meets New School
There is no question the dating rulebook has changed. Just in the last 50 years, societal events such as the feminist movement, birth control, increased lifespan, and the Internet have created new rules of engagement. But just as some things change, some things stay the same.
Dating is thought (rightfully so) to be a confusing process but the more we go back to the basics, the more successful we’ll be. Here are 19 good ol’ fashioned rules that still apply today:
Preparing for A Date. .
Always Look Your Best
Attraction is very primal. We’re attracted to “good looks.” That said, You never know when you may meet that special someone at the supermarket, or gas station, or on the street. If you always look your best, you’ll always stand the best chance to secure a date.
Confidence Is Sexy
Men love a woman with confidence. Be sure to smile, keep your back straight, listen attentively, walk with your shoulders back and speak slowly. This will make you seem confident, even if you are quivering with nervousness inside.
Bad Breath Kills
Nothing kills chances of a kiss or a second date like bad breath. If your breathy conversation has been malodorous, chances are your date will likely extend you a hand at the end of the date. Visit the dentist regularly, practice healthy brushing habits at home and always carry mints!
During the Date. .
We Show Our Respect With Our Time
If he’s 5-10 minutes late, he may be pulling a Diddy and he’s trying to make an entrance. However, 10 minutes plus, with no phone call, is simply rude. Multiple incidents like this show you exactly what how much respect he has for your time.
Gentlemen Offer To Pay
This rule will be debated for the next 1000 years and for the next 1000 years, the answer will be the same. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll offer to pay on the first date (regardless of who asks). If he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy but it does mean his chivalry skills are lacking.
Good Manners Are Telling
We should all know that the good manners of saying “please” and “thank you” never ever goes out of style, especially on a date.
Body Language Says More
Avoid fidgeting with your hair or clothes; this signals insecurity. Remember that only 1/3 of communication is about the words you speak.
During the Date. .
Don’t Offer Too Much Info Too Early
People like people they can’t figure out in one evening. Don’t divulge too much and keep your dates short. Short dates will keep him longing for more.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Drama is avoided when we tell the truth. There must be a balance you strike with this rule and the former (because omitting the truth is also lying).
No “Your Momma” Talk
Avoid criticizing his mom (or yours). This will cause anyone to become defensive (or view you as not being family oriented – which is popular non-negotiable).
Be A Lady
Even if you can fart Amazing Grace without missing a beat, avoid boasting about this on your first date. Even if he is crass with his boys, he will find vulgarity unappealing in the woman he is dating.
Keeping In Touch. .
Phone Calls Win
Modern technology has provided a million and one ways to contact potential dates – email, text, Facebook message, and tweet to name a few. No matter how far technology advances, the phone call will always best way to connect (aside from in-person). All methods other than phone are simply not as brave, direct, or clear.
Ain’t Nothin’ Open After Midnight ‘Cept Legs
Don’t accept requests for late meetings with your new guy. If he has respect for you and your time, he will make plans for a more decent dating hour. Otherwise, beware that he’s only looking for a booty call.
Know When It’s On To The Next One
Don’t make excuses if he doesn’t call after the first date. He’s not interested. Move on. Creating a fantasy is a waste of time.
Things to Keep In Mind. .
A Man Without A Plan Isn’t Ready For You
If you find yourself having the “what do you want to do tonight” conversation on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd dates, chances are he’s just not that into you.
Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?
Don’t rush sexual intimacy. Early sex is one sure-fire way to ruin a relationship. Make him prove his love for you before you get intimate. This rule is gospel!
It’s What He Does Not What He Says
Actions speak louder than words… PERIOD!
Unveiling Vulnerability = Love
When they show you they are vulnerable, that’s when they show you they’re in love. He has let his guard down to let you in.
You Will Kiss a Few Frogs Before You Meet Your Prince
D not be discouraged when it seems that that your dates never lead to anything meaningful. That’s what dating is about — going out with new people to get to know more about your likes, deal breakers and to get better at your own social skills. Your prince is out there!
Need More Advice?
Feel free to contact Paul on Twitter at @PaulCBrunson, on facebook.com/PaulBrunson or
online at http://www.onedegreefrom.me.
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