Unlike the years prior to 1980, dating nowadays is not exclusively done with the intention of marriage. Some of us date just for fun, some methodically for personality development, others do it for. . Let’s face it, some do it for a lil’ action. (Studies show up to 30% of people seek sex on first date.) All that said, just like our parents and our parents’ parents, the majority of us specifically date with the intention of finding a partner for a monogamous, long-term commitment. What’s most interesting to me is that while the search for a spouse is one of the most important endeavors in our lives, there are no structured ways to hone your dating skills – there are no ‘dating classes,’ you can’t get a degree in ‘dateology,’ and while some of our parents shared the stories of the birds and the bees, few gave us real lessons of effective dating. The dos and don’ts of dating, especially first date dating is so important, Here is a list of 10 First* Date Commandments. .
1. Don't Be Late
"I was held up at work, I was stuck in traffic, I operate on C.P. time". .NO excuse works!! We show how much we care for each other by our timeliness.
2. Observe How They Act with Strangers
Is he rude to the taxi driver? Does he give drill sergeant orders to the waitress? Does he have a hard time keeping his eyes off the woman sitting next to you? How he acts with people he does not know is a window to how he could act with you in the future.
3. Don't Talk About Sex
It makes you look ‘Superhead’ loose. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you bring it up, most men will entertain the topic but you’ll put yourself closer to the “booty call” basket versus the “this could be the mother of my kids” basket.
4. Don't Talk About Your EX
There is nothing positive that results from this. Mentioning your ex-lover(s) makes you appear obsessed or insecure with unfinished business from the last relationship. Don’t be surprised if the date ends early if you break this commandment.
5. Don't Drink To Much
Everyone has a limit, stay under it. I know it’s tempting to throw a few back, especially with the anxiety a first date brings, but being sloppy drunk makes you less attractive.
6. Don't Lie
This includes no ‘E’ (exaggerations). Yes, dating is a game but cheating doesn’t help you win.
7. If He Doesn't Offer to Pay. .He's A Loser
We need to retire the question of "Does a man pay on the first date?" The bottom line is that REAL men pay!! Point Blank PERIOD
8. Let Him Leave With Wanting More
If you’re having a great time, I understand the desire to let the date extend and extend, but please draw the line. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. .Give them uncertainty.
9. It's Just A Date. .So Try To Have FUN
With any endeavor in life, never lose a second of your time to regret. Whether you feel you’ve found Mr. Right or your first date is with Mr. Can’t Be More Wrong, stay positive, enjoy the company and the activity –- you’re not getting that time back, so make the best of it.
10. Chivalry Is Not Dead. .Expect IT
Being a gentleman has never gone out of style. Chivalrous men exist everywhere. There is so much discussion about "not settling" here’s one category where it applies perfectly. However, if he doesn’t open the door for you, this isn’t cause to write him off if all other signs are good. Sometimes you can teach an old dog new tricks.
This brought to you via Essence.com
Visit http://www.essence.com/ and Pick up the April 2011 issue of Essence on News Stands everywhere.
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