Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Being Single: 5 Reasons it may be BEST

So many of us have started out the New Year Single. . and to be honest some of us have started out several New Year's in a row this way. It has it's up and downs but at the end of the day it is for the best. .at this particular time. You can get to know yourself better, love yourself better, and go at your journey towards greatness. This is an article I read last year from Stephan Labossiere author of "God Where is My Boaz?" and felt the need to repost it here for us read and marinate on ;")

Written by: Stephan Labossiere http://www.stephanspeaks.com/being-single-5-reasons-best/

There is nothing wrong with being single! Too many people have made being single the equivalent to having a disease that needs to be cured right away. People will immediately assume something must be wrong with you and to be honest there likely is something that needs to be addressed within you. Not because you’re single, but because you are a human being, and we all have issues. Some will overlook these issues and jump into a relationship anyway. Only to have it all bite them in the ass later on and create more issues. The reality is that for a lot of people, being single at the moment would be best. Here are 5 reasons this may be true for you.

1. You Don’t Truly Know Yourself.
How can you really know what’s best for you if you have yet to figure yourself out. How can you expect another person to embrace who you truly are when you are more concerned with showing them who you think they want. Bottom line is you can’t, and you shouldn’t. As individuals we need to be more patient when it comes to trying to be in a relationship.  Being so obsessed with getting somebody can cause many to lose themselves and not take the time to get to know themselves. Maximize your time being single by learning how to love and embrace who you are.

2. You Don’t Know How To Take Care Of Yourself.
Most people want to find someone who compliments their life. They don’t want someone who will drain them and can’t uplift them. Almost everybody likes to have someone who is “capable” of taking care of them in the way that they need. Unfortunately some of you can’t even take care of yourself so you damn sure can’t take care of someone else. Use your time being single to become an individual that can be dependable and knows how to handle your business. Grow to be a persons partner and not a grown child that they have to constantly take care of.

3. You Still Want To Live The Single Life. 
Some people want to look like they’re single, talk like they’re single, and behave like they’re single. Yet they still want to be in a relationship and not be “single”. You can’t have it both ways and you should take some time to get your “single desires” out of your system. Entertaining relationships when you still want to have your fun isn’t fair to that person, and you are just setting yourself up for failure. Until you are truly ready for something serious…just embrace being single.

4. You Are Still “In Love” With Your Ex.
Running into the arms of another to get past an ex is not something I would ever recommend. Many times all you are doing is distracting yourself but the issue has not gone away. Whatever happened in that past relationship needs to be worked through within yourself. Being with another person isn’t usually the best way to achieve that despite what some may think. It isn’t fair to put the new person (rebound) in this position, because before you know it this issue will surface and the drama will begin. You’re better off being single than trying to embrace a love that isn’t true.

5. Being Single Will Help You Address Deeper Issues.
Like I said earlier, we all have some issues. Some of us have deeper issues than others and have never truly addressed them. Whether it be sexual abuse, severe heartbreak, absence of our fathers or mothers, and others. These issues are best addressed while being single, before you go looking to get into another relationship. Whether you realize it or not these things will likely have a negative impact on your life and your relationships if you try to ignore them. Get the assistance you need, and put yourself in a much better position to receive the great things you deserve.

It’s not that it is impossible to work these things out while in a relationship. It just makes it a lot harder, and increases the chances of more damage being done along the way. Being single should be an opportunity to grow and prepare your life for what the future has for you. Some may find fulfillment in remaining single and some may find their fulfillment in getting married one day. Whichever will apply to you will be best achieved when you stop treating being single as a pitfall, and start treating it as an opportunity.

Remember to purchase a copy of "God Where is my Boaz" and email me at sophisticatechronicles@gmail.com to *Sign Up* for SophistiKat Bookclub!!

Follow him on Twitter @StephanSpeaks


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