Monday, October 31, 2011

Are You Dating A Boy or A Man?

By now you all can tell we are faithful to Essence.com and view it just about every day. 
We try our best to bring some of the most vital information from the site as well as just a few things we enjoy. Ladies. .Paul Carrick Brunson aka "The Modern Day Matchmaker" has complied a list of things so we will no longer ask ourselves the question "Am I dating a Boy or a Man?" After this you will know weather you need to drop that Zero and Move on to the next one. Fellas it's vital for you as well. Are you stepping up to the plate when it come to being a Man. .or are you trying to hang out on the playground and continue to be a Boy? Check this OUT. .


Written By: Paul Carrick Brunson for http://www.essence.com

Sometimes, ideas for posts come to me in conversation, sometimes based on what I read, and other times I get inspiration from the real situations of my clients. My all time favorite source for ideas is Twitter. I find the social media platform to be the best pulse to find what’s of interest in our lives.    

Recently, I’ve seen several people on twitter chiming in about their opinion on the difference between a boy and a man. I wasn’t compelled to respond until I saw several tweets articulating age as an important factor. While I believe age is part of the equation, let’s be clear: not every boy becomes a man. What's a woman looking for in love today?


Does He Have Goals?
“The man is aiming at a goal; the boy is drifting aimlessly.” — Author Unknown

How Responsible Is He?
Men make and keep commitment, boys don’t.

What Does He Call You?
Boys want a “wifey”. Men want a WIFE.

Can He Communicate?
A boy tells you about his day. A man will ask you about yours, and listen.

Does He Accomplish or Destroy?
Boys consume. Men produce.

Can You Trust Him?
You can put your trust in a man. Your trust is always lost with a boy.

Does He Know Who He Is?
Boys dress, talk, and act like everyone else. Men emulate no one.

Does He Want to Stimulate His Mind?
Men are never afraid to ask questions. Boys think they have it all figured out.

What Are His Beliefs?
Boys believe nothing is greater than themselves. Men believe in a higher power.

Is He Serious About His Future?
Boys chase girls and women. Men chase family.

Does He Pick Up the Phone?
Boys send text messages. Men call.

What Is His Purpose?
Boys exist in stagnation. Men embrace change.

Does He Have Baggage?
Boys have liabilities. Men possess assets.

How Does He Handle the First Date?
Boys split the check. Men pay

How He Handles Adversity?
Boys become selfish. Men are selfless.

Agree? Maybe Not? Follow Paul on Twitter @PaulCBrunson http://twitter.com/#!/PaulCBrunson and tell him your thoughts on this list or maybe use it as a good topic for conversation with friends.

@TNBeautyQueen

SophistiKat "Throwback" Jam


No words needed for this one. .All we can say is "Mmph"!!
Our "Throwback"Jam for the day is LL Cool J feat Boyz II Men "Hey Lover"!!

Enjoy~*

HoTT Commodity



Keyshia Dior has Blown up overnight. .Literally. This chick is more than a Pretty Face and BaDD body. In this YouTube exclusive from KeyshiaDiorTV she talks about Building her brand and most of all how she used "Video/Artist" modeling as a platform to make HER dreams a reality aka KA'OIR Cosmetics. A lot of young women who are interested in the "Video/Artist" modeling industry could truly benefit from hearing what Ms. Keyshia has to say. We love the lipstick line and will definitely be supporting this budding entrepreneur.

Visit http://www.kaoir.com/index.php to check out everything that KA'OIR has to offer and of course SHOP!!

@TNBeautyQueen

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wool: Our Hair's Worst Enemy



The cold season has presented itself, but there is more to come. It is only Fall and Winter has yet to show it's colder and uglier side.
During the cold season we dress in layers, we double up on clothing, and then we put on outerwear; which consists of wool coats, wool hats, and scarves. A wool coat, scarf, and hat may be good for keeping us warm; but it is detrimental to African American hair.

Here's my story:
During the winter months of 2010 I started noticing how so many strands of my hair would end up on the back of my pea coat. After a while, I also noticed the hair at the nape of my neck breaking off. Last, I noticed my hair getting shorter at the crown of my head. I figured that the coat and hat that I was wearing was the cause of my hair breakage, but I didn't know how to prevent it. It was like fighting a losing battle. Though my hair was breaking, I had no choice but to continue wearing this coat and hat because it was protecting me from the cold.
Later I figured that maybe if I wore a silk scarf under my hat, as I wore to bed at night, then it would stop my hair from breaking. So I went to Sally's Beauty Supply and purchased a few silk scarves. I went home, turned each of my hats inside out and sewed the scarf to the lining of the hat and cut what was left of the scarf off. After I finished, the inside of my hats were sewn in silk. From then on, before going out into the cold, I would put my hat on and tuck my hair into the hat. Tucking my hair inside the hat, kept my hair from being exposed to wool and from breaking at the nape of my neck. That silk lining inside my hat really kept my hair from breaking.

I hope that this post will help a sister out.

Sincerely,

From one SophistiKat to another
@HoneyBLove
@TheSophistiKats

Friendship Rules (About Guys) Never To Break

We often have conversations about "The Rules". It can be almost similar to walking on egg shells sometimes when it comes to dealing with one of your "Girl's" man. I tell you we have all had issues over the years when it has come to this topic but here is everything summed up in 10* simple rules from one of our Favorite Essence.com contributors Charli Penn!! Check it Out!!



There can be a very thin line between best friendships and romantic relationships and crossing it will almost always cause unwanted drama.

It's important to know where you stand. .ALWAYS!! Whether you're both in a relationship, or one of you is still looking for love, these rules always apply.

Do you know the rules?


Leave the Exes Alone
If she ever loved (even liked) him, you shouldn’t even consider him romantically. (The situation will only turn out to be messy and eventually you might loose a friend)


Give Them Their Space
If a good friend is in a serious relationship and having trouble choosing between you or him, don’t make it hard on her. Give them the space they need to build a healthy, happy relationship.


Always Keep it Real
You know how the motto goes: If you see something, say something. Keeping a secret about the guy your friend is dating will only end badly. Fess up and clear your conscience.


Try to Get Along With Him
Whether he’s the one you would have chose for her or not, you’re still going to have to play nice. Give him a chance and try not to hold things against her guy before you’ve had a chance to really get to know him.


Dress Appropriately
If you’re around a friend’s man you should never be dressed as if you’re trying to land one of your own. if you’re showing more leg or cleavage than she is, that’s a problem!


Call Her First
If you have something to say to a friend’s husband or boyfriend, you should bring it to her first. You may have a bone to pick with him, but she deserves the courtesy of a heads up.


Supper Her Decisions
If she’s happy, and not hurting, you should be happy for her. .Case closed. It’s not your life, so don’t get too emotionally invested in a friend’s situation.


Watch What You Say
If a friend is dealing with a tough time with her man, she will inevitably want to call you and vent. It’s okay to provide a shoulder to lean on, but don’t jump on the bad-mouthing bandwagon if you don’t mean what you say. She’ll remember the things you said long after she’s forgotten those he said.


Don't Get Too Close
You should NEVER, EVER, under any circumstances, bad mouth your friend to her man!! Even if you’re really upset with her in that moment, he’s not the person you should be venting with. Go to her!!


Keep Things Between You and Her
Your friend may wind up telling you more intimate details about her relationship or her man than he would like.  .It happens. The worst thing you can do is accidentally bring up something around him that you had NO business knowing in the first place.

For more Good reads and more articles from Charli Penn visit http://www.essence.com
@TNBeautyQueen
@TheSophistiKats

SophistiKat's "Dose of Soul"



I can't do anything but "LoL"!! The other SophistiKat's know I @TNBeautyQueen LOVE this man!!
So I bring you a "Dose of Soul" for your Sunday afternoon from NONE other than the THEE "R&BNeoSoulHippieRockStar". . Mr. Raheem Devaughn!! Here is "You" from his FIRST album "The Love Experience". 

If you don't have his albums (God Forbid) visit iTunes http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/raheem-devaughn/id5781104 and Cop them. Thanks ;")

Enjoy Your Sunday~*

Coral Craze

For the past year everyone has been keeping up on the latest trend for lip color.
RED has been at the forefront but this Fall another shade is making its way into the mix. .Coral!!
A fantastic shade for all skin tones it can be taken from a neutral day time shade to a glamorous evening shade easy. 
Here are a Few of our FAVorite SophisitKat's and our own personal Coral Fav's.


Kerry Washington

Milani Color Perfect Lipstick "Coral Bora Bora" $2.99 (Ebay)


Milani Crystal Gloss "Pucker Up" $5.49


Ashanti 
Nars Sheer Lipstick "Love Devotion" $24.00


Solange Knowles

Fashion Fair "Ole'Orange" Lipstick $15.00

Fashion Fair Lip Teasers "Coral Craze" $15.00


Garcelle Beauvais

Mac Lipstick "So Chaud" $14.50

Mac Lipglass "Evolution Revolution" $14.50

@TNBeautyQueen
@TheSophistiKats

Lay It On ME


Kelly Rowland is back with another HoTT hit showing us yet again why she is the "IT Girl" of 2011. Rocking sexy body suits and showing off her nearly perfect size 2 frame. .She didn't leave out the eye candy for us Ladies!! She delivers with the video "Lay It On ME" featuring Big Sean.

Enjoy

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Jill Scott "So Gone"


One our FAVorite Soul Sistah's is back with her second single/video off of her latest album "The Light of the Sun". ."So Gone (What My Mind Says)" featuring Paul Wall. This one is Sexy, Sultry, and has a Southern twist. Ms. Scott has delivered yet again!! If you don't have the album "The Light of the Sun" cop it from iTunes http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-light-sun-deluxe-version/id435260991 Enjoy~*

In Living Color is BACK!!

To celebrate their 25th Anniversary, Fox is bringing back one of it's MOST successful shows. .none other than everybody and their mama's favorite "In Living Color"!!


Keenan Ivory Wayans will produce 2 half hour specials this seasons. 
If the specials are a hit (i.e. ratings) the actual show will RETURN next year as apart of the Fox 2012 Fall Line Up.  Wayans has yet to say if any of our favorite's Jim Carrey "Fire Marshall Bill", Jamie Foxx "Wanda", or the clown we could never get enough of "Homie" Damon Wayans will make any cameos. 


It has been stated that their will be a BRAND NEW cast for the new season. .So you know what that means? Maybe the Sexy NEXT generation of Wayans will be taking the reign's. .Damon Jr. .Damian. .Hmm. .Either way. .We are READY!!

We will keep you posted on when the specials will air. .So we can get the ratings they need. .So we can have one of our FAVorites back

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Another SophistiKat "Jam of the Week"

Our FAVORITE QUEEN BEE is BACK!!! Beyonce  premiered her new video for the club jam and ladies anthem "PARTY" today. While showing of her newly announced baby bump, Beyonce represents for ALL the Sexy ladies out there, who LOVE to kick it with their girls! The video also brings a little flashback of 90's flavor with all the vibrant colors and 90's throwback attire. So... "KICK OFF UR SHOES and RELAX your Feet!!!" as u vibe to Beyonce's "PARTY!"~ ENJOY!!! ;-)

@LuvMarsPinkKiss
@TheSophistiKats

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

SophistiKat "Jam of the Week"

R&B Diva sensation, Monica is back, premiering her new video off her upcoming album, "New Life". The video stars Monica as herself. Also featured in the video, are two of our FAVS, actor Brian White (Stomp The Yard, Men of A Certain Age , Trois:3) and actress Malinda Williams (The Wood, Soul Food: The Series, Daddy's Little Girls). The two portray a married couple with child, who are dealing with trouble in monogamy and cheating. TRULY a life lesson. The message in the song is "You Don't Know What You Got Until its Gone" which introduces us to the title of the Song, "Until Its Gone". Check out the worldwide premiere of Monica’s new video for "Until Its Gone" Enjoy!!! And REMEMBER don't take your LOVE ones for granted! ;-)


Monday, October 24, 2011

Today In Black History

1892*
In New Orleans, 25,000 Black workers strike, 1892


1923*
Department of Labor said some 500,000 Blacks had left the South in the preceding twelve months.


1935*
Italy invaded Ethiopia. American Blacks held mass meetings of protest and raised funds for the Ethiopian defenders.


1935*

The first Black-authored play to become a long-run Broadway hit, Langston Hughes' "Mulatto" opens, 1935


1948*

Birthday of Rep. Kweisi Mfume who was born Frizzell Gray in Baltimore, Maryland. In 1996 Mfume became president of the NAACP.


1964*

Zambia proclaimed independent.


1972*

Death of Jack Roosevelt ("Jackie") Robinson (53), first Black in major leagues in twentieth century, in Stamford, Connecticut.


1994*

President Clinton presented Dorothy Porter Wesley with the Charles Frankel Award from the National Endowment for the Humanities

25* Lessons From Oprah's "Lifeclass"

A few weeks ago "Lifeclass"  premiered on OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network). The HARDEST working woman in television has been sharing with her nightly audience different things that  inspired her, challenged her, and changed her view on life and experiences over the past 25 years from the Oprah Winfrey show.


She shared lessons learned from Maya Angelou, Terry McMillian, Jim Carey, and Iyanla Vanzant.

Check Them Out. .

Be true to yourself: You can’t begin to love yourself, or even be true to yourself, unless you know who you really are."

Oprah recalled how author Terry McMillan had finally let go of her anger towards her gay ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer. “Letting go of what has happened to you, and being able to live with what is happening to you right now, is how you access the power that we all have within us,” she said.

Every situation is a teachable moment: “If you’re in a bad relationship, you’re a student of how to have a better relationship,” said Oprah.

Everybody has an ego: Ego is any identification with things, such as your possessions or social status, for example. “Understanding the ego is having the awareness of your true self and your ego self.”

Creating the life you want is key: Oprah called Jim Carrey one of her “greatest teachers” after the comedian appeared on her talk show and spoke about how he visualized his success. “If you can see it, and believe it. It is a lot easier to achieve it,” she said.

Don’t allow ego to get in the way: Never let your ego take over your real self. “When you acknowledge your ego, you diminish its power over you,” said Oprah.

Loving yourself begins on the inside: “I am not the shape of my body,” said the former talk show host. “I am more than what I look like, than what I do. The understanding of who you really are is necessary as you get older. As you begin to lose the external attraction, it is your responsibility to cultivate the inner attraction.”

Aging is a beautiful process: Being honest about your age is part of aging gracefully. “When you lie about your age you are denying that part of your life…the years you have earned…those experiences,” said Oprah.

Your calling doesn’t always have to be grand: “Sometimes it is a whisper, and when you begin to follow that you end up being the best that you can be.”

You can only live your own life: “Anyone pretending to be something that they’re not will never become all that they were meant to be.”

“Your life is always speaking to you,” said Oprah. Always be conscious enough to listen.

Loving yourself takes work: “You can’t begin to love yourself, or even be true to yourself, unless you know who you really are.”

It’s never too late to discover who you really are."

When you know better, you do better: Oprah said this is the greatest lesson Maya Angelou taught her. “You should not be judge yourself for the person that you were, but for the person you’re trying to be now,” she said.


The best students get the hardest tests: “When God has something for you to do, he’s going to test you to make sure you’re ready,” said Oprah’s webcast co-host, Iyanla Vanzant.


Lady Gaga is an example to all of us: “Her being able to do that is really showing us all how to be more of ourselves,” said Oprah.

You are what you believe: “Whatever you deeply believe, you will create.” Your life, good or bad, is the sum of all your creations.

“When you stray from your center, you get lost,” said Oprah, recalling the time she showed off her 60-pound weight-loss on her talk show. Looking back, she says it was her ego that drove her to do that.

Your calling may not always pay you well. “Honoring the calling feeds everything in your life better,” said Oprah. "If you are able to honor that feeling, that is when you most come alive.”

Everybody gets a second chance: Oprah recalled giving birth, at 14, to a baby that did not survive. She remembered how her father told her the baby’s untimely death was the universe giving her a second chance. “I took that chance, and understood, for myself, that now I know better, I would do better,” she said.

“Instead of saying you’re afraid to be alone, say ’I’m willing to be with myself…you’re enough,” said guest co-host Iyanla Vanzant.

Forgiveness is not accepting the pain of your past, but letting go: “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”

“We keep ourselves small to make other people comfortable then we get mad at them for allowing us to stay there," said Oprah, quoting Marianne Williamson.

You are greater than your thoughts: “You are not the thoughts in your head, or the things that surround you.”

Everybody has a calling: “Your real job in life is to figure out as soon as possible, what that is and who you were meant to be and begin to honor that in the best way possible for yourself.”

Thursday, October 20, 2011

9* Reasons To Believe In Black Love



Written By: Paul Carrick Brunson "The Modern Day Matchmaker" for http://www.essence.com 

Last week I taped a special one-hour episode of Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers (due to air soon) about the state of Black relationships. Throughout the show we covered many topics, and as you’ll see, at times it got very tense on stage.

That said, the overall point I made was that we need to be informed about relationship facts in the Black community. There is no brand of love more tarnished than Black love, and the way we change it is first by understanding the truth.

The following are facts that are very rarely discussed, but serve as a good jumping off point for a positive conversation about love in the Black community.

Black Women Find Love Online
According to recent interviews I conducted with CEOs of 2 of the largest online dating sites, black men and women are registering on dating sites at rates only behind baby boomers. This is positive news, given that online dating sites are the second highest source of marriages (1 out of 6 marriages begin online).

Black Marriage is the Strongest Kind
Five of the top nine countries with the highest marriage rate in 2009 were predominantly black countries: Jamaica, Barbados, South Africa, Ethiopia, and Antigua.

Most Black Women Will Marry
US Census notes the percentage of never-married black women 55 and older rose to 13 percent in 2009. This means 87 percent of black women will get married at some point in their lives.

Black Men Marry Black Women
Eighty-two percent of Black men marry Black women (compared to 62% of Asian American men and Hispanic men marrying within their race). Moreover, the interracial marriage gap between black men and women is actually narrowing. In the 1980s, Black men married White women at a rate of 3-to-1 compared to Black women with White men. In 2009, it narrowed to less than 2-to-1. (2008 U.S. Census)

Successful Women Are More Likely to Marry
The more education you have and money you make pretty much guarantees you’re much more likely to marry than a lower earning, less educated woman at a rate of almost 2-to-1. NYTimes.com

Black People Do Marry Each Other
Two-hundred and fifty three thousand annual new marriages are between African Americans. (2009 American Community Survey)

The Divorce Rate Is Not That Bad
We often hear that the divorce rate is approximately 50%, well this is incorrect. The divorce rate in 2010 was 48%, however, most interesting is when you analyze what happens to people who either date for at least 2 years and/or marry after the age of 25. At both of those points, the divorce rate drops to less than 25%. This suggests that when we don’t rush marriage (and spend time making sure we’re marrying the right person), divorce seldom happens. (Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.)

The Obama's Aren't the Only Ones Making it Work
Did you know 3.6 million African Americans have been married for 10 years or more? (2009 American Community Survey)

Black Men Are Successful
In America, 725,922 black men earn more than $75,000 compared to 528,204 black women; 100,000 more black men earn more than $100,000 than black women; and black men are twice as likely to earn more than a quarter million dollars. Therefore, if we define success in terms of income, there is still hope. (Ivory A. Toldson, Ph.D., and Bryant Marks, Ph.D.)

Have any questions for Paul? Visit his Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/paulbrunson or Follow him on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/PaulCBrunson

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

SophistiKat's "Jam Of The Week"


FINALLY!! Verse Simmonds puts out the video for "Boo Thang" featuring the "IT" Girl of 2011 Ms. Kelly Rowland!!

Everyone is not a Fan of this song. .but it gets love from the all the club DJ's and of course US. .The SophistiKats!!

Enjoy

Today In Black History


1859*

Byrd Prillerman, Co-founder of Virginia State College was born on this day

1870*
Republicans swept South Carolina elections with a ticket of six whites and TWO Blacks: Alonzo Ransier for Lieutenant Governor and Francis L. Cardozo for Secretary of State.

1870*

First Blacks elected to the House of Representatives. Black Republicans won three of the four congressional seats in South Carolina: Joseph H. Rainey, Robert C. Delarge and Robert B. Elliott. Rainey was elected to an unexpired term in the Forty-first Congress and was the first Black seated in the House.

1936*

Johnetta Betsch Cole (The First African American Female President of Spelman College and former President of Bennett College for Women) was born on this day.

1943*

On this date, Paul Robeson opened in Othello at the Shubert Theater in New York City. 
The show ran for 296 consecutive performances.

1944*
US Navy started to accept Black Women

1960*

Martin Luther King Jr. arrested in Atlanta sit-in and ordered to serve four months in the Georgia State Prison for violating a probated traffic sentence. John F. Kennedy, Democratic Presidential Candidate at the time called Mrs. Coretta Scott King to express his concern about the imprisonment of Dr. King.

1983*

Grenada's U.S. educated Prime Minister Maurice Bishop killed in a military coup.







SophistiKat "Dessert of The Month"

Keeping the Theme of welcoming in one of the most favorite seasons of the year Fall. .Here is a twist on a traditional dessert for this time of the year. 
A light yet easy to make treat brought to you 
courtesy of Sunny Anderson of the Food Networks: "Cooking For Real".
Something to warm your insides and give you that SWEET fix. .

Mini Pecan Pumpkin Pies



Ingredients
Nonstick cooking spray
For the dough
1/4 cup pecans
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for shaping dough
6 tablespoons butter, ice cold
2 to 3 tablespoons ice cold water

For the filling
1 egg, plus 1 egg yolk
1/2 cup dark corn syrup
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup canned pumpkin filling
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup pecans, chopped plus 24 halves for garnish
Special equipment: 2 (12-cup) mini muffin tins
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Spray the bottoms and sides of the mini muffin tins with cooking spray.

For the dough
In a food processor, pulse pecans with the sugar, salt, and flour, until the nuts are ground and the ingredients are combined. 
Add in butter and pulse until dough resembles coarse meal. 
Slowly pour in ice water through the feed tube, pulsing, until the dough comes together. 
Remove from processor bowl onto clean work surface sprinkled with flour.

Form dough into a ball and divide evenly into 24* pieces. 
Roll each piece into a ball and evenly press into each cup, until the bottom is covered. If the dough is sticky, dip your finger in flour first.

Bake 15 to 18 minutes, until the crusts are very golden. 
Check periodically to make sure they don't get too brown.

Make the filling
In a medium bowl, whisk the egg and yolk with the corn syrup, sugar, pumpkin filling and vanilla. Stir in the chopped pecans.

Remove dough from oven and spoon 1 tablespoon of the filling into each cup. 
Top each with 1 pretty pecan half. 
Return the pans to the oven and continue baking, for 12 to 15 minutes more, until the pumpkin filling is set. 
Allow to cool before removing from the pans.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Rising Star



From singing in the choir at 21 Century Prep to now being one of the Hottest and Most Anticipated artist this year Miranda Brooke is definitely a STAR on the rise. Signed to World Affiliated, Buvision, and Island Def Jam this Chattanooga, TN native not only has the Beauty but the Brains and Vocals to BLOW YOU away. Check out her new video/single "Hater" 

SophistiKat's "Drink Of The Month"

In the Spirit of Fall (and Pumpkin season) we bring you a cocktail with just enough spice to get you in the mood and relax. 


The Pumpkin Martini!!


Ingredients
1/2 oz Sylk Cream Liqueur
2 oz Vanilla Vodka
1/2 oz Pumpkin Liqueur or Pumpkin Spice Syrup
1 tsp Whipped Cream
1 Cinnamon Stick for garnish


Preparation
Pour the Sylk Liqueur and vodka into a shaker filled with ice *Shake well*
Add the pumpkin liqueur or syrup *Shake again*
Strain into a chilled cocktail glass
Top with a teaspoon of whipped cream
Garnish with a cinnamon stick

Now you are Ready to Sip and Enjoy


9* Ways To Be A Better Friend

Friendship is a vital part of Life. As we grow we meet new people. .and experience new things together. A dear friend of mine and I chatted earlier today and the topic of how few and far between it it for black women to sustain relationships. .let alone friendships with other women being at the top of the list. God blesses us with Real and True friends til the end. .but we have to work at it just like anything else in our lives. I found this list by one of our favorite writers for Essence.com Charli Penn and felt it was vital for me to share. We are all at fault at some point in time of 1 or more of these things. .so here's something to give us a boost to do BETTER and be thankful for our lifetime treasure. .Our Friends

Written By: Charli Penn for Essence.com


Have you fallen behind on your return phone calls and emails? Ever caught yourself asking for more help than you’ve given out? Do you owe a friend a favor? If you just answered, “yes” all around, let’s face it, you could be a better friend.


Before you start beating yourself up, Seriously don’t! Remember that you’re not a bad person, you just need to step it up a bit.

Here are 9* things you can do to become a better friend right now.

Let Them Lean on You

Sometimes the best and only thing you can do to ease someone’s pain is to just let them hold on to you. Being there always makes a difference.

Get Off Your Butt
It’s Friday night and she wants to go out on the town. Trouble is, you’d rather stick to your usual routine and curl up to a good movie instead. Go! She’ll be so happy to have the company for a change

Keep it Real
A real friend won’t fault you for your honesty. If her new hair cut is atrocious, or she’s put on more pounds than she thinks, tell her. (Nicely of course.) A good friend won’t lie to you to keep the peace, they’ll tell you the truth even if it disturbs it.

Learn to Share
Share what’s going on in your world, don’t keep your drama to yourself. Hiding your feelings and thoughts from a true friend keeps them from getting close to you. It’s not smart not to let anyone in if you want to have a mutually beneficial friendship.

Lend Her a Hand
Is your girlfriend behind on her weekend errands? Maybe her husband’s sick and she’s got kids and could use a little extra help around the house? Get in there and lend her a hand. She’ll be so appreciative.

Let Loose
You don’t always need to spend a lot of money to have a really good time together. Host a laid back and low budget evening of fun at your house and watch the good times roll in.

Make Her Laugh
Everyone needs a good laugh, preferably on a regular basis. If you have a friend who has been down on her luck and feeling out of sorts, it’s your job to get her mind off things, if only for a moment.

Have Her Back
Nobody likes to get involved in other people’s drama, but there is a thin line here when it’s a close friend who’s having problems. If she needs you try to be there for her as best you can as long as you don’t feel uncomfortable with what she’s asking you to do.

Let Her Make Mistakes
As tempting as it may be to say “I told you so” every time a friend falls on her face after you warned her of a bump up ahead, you shouldn’t. Show her you can support her when she’s right and when she’s wrong. Judgmental friends are untrue.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Oh Nia!!


The Oh SO Beautiful Nia Long is gracing the November cover of Ebony magazine in all of her Chocolate glory. 
One of the most candid interviews that she has ever given. 
She discusses her life as an actress, her West Indian heritage and reconnecting with family, being a mother to a 11 year old son, her boyfriend
Ime Udoka (a former NBA player with the San Antonio Spurs and father) and preparing for a new baby. 


Long said "Society tells us ‘Get married before 30…’ I think if we just take our time as women, and do what comes natural to us and for us, we would make fewer mistakes," Long tells Ebony. 
We are excited about this issue and expect all are SophistiKats to go out and cop one or two.

Nothing But Soul


Another FAVorite Soul artist Ledisi is back with her 2nd Single "So Into You" off of her new hit album "Pieces of Me".




SophistiKat's "Jam Of The Week"


It's a COLE World!! Here is J Cole's latest single "Can't Get Enough" featuring none of than Trey Songz aka "Mr. Steal Your Girl" ;")

Enjoy

Monday, October 3, 2011

Today In Black History

1856*
Timothy ("T.") Thomas Fortune was born on this day.


1904*
Mary McLeod Bethune opened Daytona Normal and Industrial School in Daytona Beach, Florida.



 In 1923 the school merged with Cookman Institute and became Bethune-Cookman College. Seventy-six Blacks reported lynched in 1904.


1935*

Ethiopia, one of the only two independent African nations at the time, was invaded on October 3,1935 by Fascist Italy under Benito Mussolini. The Italians, seeking revenge for their prior humiliating loss to Ethiopia over 40 years earlier, committed countless atrocities on the independent African state. Poisonous gas, aerial bombardment, flame throwers and concentration camps were all employed against the ill equipped Ethiopian people. Black outrage throughout the world was unified. The League of Nations, forerunner to the UN, was criticized sharply for supplying weapons to Italy and not to Ethiopia. Such actions confirmed Black suspicion that the war was of racial motivation and sought to extinguish the last light of African power in the world. From Kingston to Johannesburg, from Detroit to Ghana, form Port-of-Spain to Paris, Black men and women offered to go fight in defense of Ethiopia. And as battles raged between Ethiopians and Italians in Africa, battles raged between Blacks and Italians in the streets of New York. In South Africa, Black workers began a lengthy march up the continent to assist their African brothers in Ethiopia. Elsewhere, ex-service men discarded their European and American citizenship's to bring their military expertise to the defense of Ethiopia. The exiled Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie became a near legendary figure to many. Not before or ever since was such a strong sense of Pan-Africanism seen throughout the world. And though Italy succeeded in defeating the African nation, Blacks everywhere would continue the struggle until Ethiopia was free.


1941*

Birthday of Singer Chubby Checker, born Ernest Evans, in Philadelphia. Checker was best known for "The Twist" a hit song that soon became a style of dance.


1949*

WERD, first Black-owned radio station, opened in Atlanta.




1956*

Nat King Cole was the first black performer to host his own TV show.


1974*

Frank Robinson named manager of the Cleveland Indians and became the first Black manager in the major leagues.


1995*

Ex-football star O.J. Simpson is cleared today of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman.