Written By: LaDawn Black
Are you dating someone who is all about texting and won’t call you back no matter what you do? We’ve all been there! You’re looking for some emotion, shared interest and maybe a few answers, but all you get instead is a few words that make you constantly wonder what your date really thinks.
You’ve already tried the typical “he texts, you call him back” tactic, but that seems to have done little to change things. What’s a girl to do when she craves a warm, welcoming voice on the end of the line, but instead gets an alert letting her know that a text is waiting — and that he is “thinking of u” instead? Try these tricky ways to get your guy to use his lips more and his thumbs less to start communicating with you!
Tell him you’re using a company phone
This one is an absolute winner! Let him know that your phone actually belongs to your company and that, thanks to either the recession or employees receiving too many personal messages, they’ve recently stopped paying for texts. Now, this is a little white lie that involves a big cover-up on your end. If you tell a man this, you can no longer text others in his presence. You may have to warn mutual friends to avoid mentioning texting you in conversation. Using treachery on this level may keep your phone’s whereabouts on your mind more than necessary, resulting in you hiding your phone during dates. It takes a great deal of covert work, but it might yield the result you desire. I don’t know too many people that are going to question your employer’s cost-saving initiative, but will your conscience pay the price?
Send him only short and/or cold replies via text
We seem to emote too much via text these days. If a guy can hear how great your date was, why you think he’s hot or whether you want to see him again without actually having to speak with each other, why would he ever bother calling? It’s time to stop having full-on conversations via text. Next time, try giving him nothing but “yes” and “no” answers when he chooses to text you. If he wants to hear your opinions, feelings or insights, he’ll have to call you and have a real conversation. He may text you something you’d like to talk about, such as: “Do you want to go out this weekend?” The reply text shouldn’t be: “Yes, Saturday at 8 is great for me, C u then” because if you do, he won’t have to call you! Avoid giving out too much information via text. The correct way to reply is simply texting back “yes” — or, even better, “let me check.” After several texts like this, he’ll know that he has to speak with you in order to get a real answer. If you find that he still isn’t getting it or seems a little slow to get the hint, try answering the same question with a quick text: “Yes, I look forward to talking to you to find out more.” Sometimes you have to be a bit direct!
Be forgetful with your phone around him
When you’re out with Mr. Super-Texter, make a point of letting him know that you prefer to leave your phone in the car (or even at home) when you’re spending time with friends. It’s crucial for him to think that you aren’t always attached to your phone and that you may not always be getting his texts in real time. If he starts to realize that you aren’t using your phone as some kind of “data central” hub like he is, he might loosen up a bit and let his texting slide when it comes to communicating with you. Maybe he’ll get that since you aren’t constantly texting others, he would be better off stopping by or calling you to get in touch. The truth is, we build up patterns in a relationship — and if he knows that you’re always just a click away, he’ll continue texting. But if he thinks you’re a low-tech girl and wants to connect, he’s going to do whatever it takes to make contact with you, including calling and leaving a message.
Tell a tall tale that gets your point across
Get your storytelling skills in shape, ladies! One of the easiest ways to let a person know how you feel about an issue is to tell a story about that same issue involving someone else. Create a “girlfriend dilemma” where someone you know always texts her guy and she’s getting mad because he always calls her back. Ask your man what he thinks about this scenario and then give him your opinion by quickly siding with the boyfriend. This one can go two possible ways: you may learn that (for him, at least) texting does not imply a lack of respect, caring or interest and adjust your view about it. Or, you may just convince him through this creative lesson that there is absolutely nothing wrong with actually using the phone for its original purpose — i.e., talking.
Intentionally miss one or two important texts
This one may be a bit mean-spirited, but if it works, it works! Turn into a technology-phobe and conveniently “miss” a few important texts from him. You know what I mean — those critical ones where taking more than a few minutes to get back to him suddenly results in a frantic “did u get my txt
LaDawn Black is a relationship expert, radio personality and the author of
"Stripped Bare: The 12 Truths for Landing the Very Best Black Man".
Learn more at http://www.ladawnblack.com